Pausing the Pursuit

Been gone for a minute, now I'm back at the jump-off....

Hope everyone has been doing well...I'm good like T-Payne in the background of Kanye West's 'Good Life' video! I have been doing the most and enjoying so much of it (can't say all, but a whole heck of a lot!)

It truly is amazing what can happen when you decide you pause your pursuit of happiness to actually BE HAPPY!

I typically go out of season this time of year (ain't nobody tryna be hugged up with a thick girl, that's too much body heat with the sun rays beamin'), but since we're having a cooler weather pattern lately, I am still in the game like Derek Fisher!  Granted, that's probably not a good parallel because he's old and awkward (look at his eyes during interviews), so he needs to retire, but you feel me, doe.  <--- had to say 'doe', my new friend says it and cracks me up every time.

Anyway!  Let me get to what I really want to say: I blogged on Mother's Day about 'this being the life'---family that adores me, child that is so lost without me, good friends and getting gifts...I am back there again...I am having the best time experiencing life again.

In the past month, I think I have been out 'after hours' more often than I was all of last year, I swear.  I am making new guy friends every time I leave the house...okay, serious exageration, but over four weekends, I have give my number out three times and chatted it up at the bar with a sexy little number I should have bagged.  (That is going to haunt me until I recall enough information about him from our conversation to Facebook stalk him).

I'm walking in this newness that makes me smile. I know my body hasn't changed.  My hair is still a hot mess---granted it's brushed and in place, but not cute. My skirts aren't any shorter or tighter (see first point for explanation), so it's not my clothes....I am just different- I feel it...more confident, I guess. My Line Sister told me my positive energy is radiating from me and attracts people to me.  Maybe that's what it is.

It's crazy because yesterday, I almost had a mini-breakdown.  I think I shared some of this a fell days ago, but things were kind of coming to a head yesterday.  I feel I am losing my religion in the midst of my newfound awesomeness.  I don't want to, but I really just feel I have to re-evaluate what about my religion I want. I know I want God and don't question my love for Him and His for me, but I just don't understand certain restrictions and limitations taught to me growing up.  Since I have started to reshape my mind, my understanding of how to access God has started to change and I think it's greatly connected to how much fun I am having. I have never been an all of nothing person---I leave room for co-mingling in an attempt to satify my interests, I guess.

I don't know know what else to say about all that, but I do know that I am smiling often and things that used to bother me don't.  Not because I'm texting 'friends' all day and drinking on the weekends, but because my state of mind has shifted to what's right instead of what's wrong. 

I encourage you all to try it!  Just slow do and enjoy the goodness that is happening to you.  I guarantee
what's bad won't take over, but your sunshining mind will radiate and bring more goodness to you.

It's pretty cool. :-)

Room(dot)