Case of the Jack in the Box

I would have to say I have never been a fan of Jack in the Boxes...the toy.  I sweat the restaurant...I could do that more than once a day, but because I would like to continue living and not die of a heart attack, I will limit my drive thru visits to about two monthly!

But back to the matter at hand....Jack in the freakin' box.  You have your little tune--the beat never changes....you to pop up when you want, but I can't force you to appear when I want (have you tried to open one?  Not easy). I have to go through the motions and wait for you to come out when you feel like it and when you do, your scary ass wanna smile and look like everything is fun and fine.  Um, no thanks. 

That is the topic of today, ladies and gentlemen:  Jack in the box ex's....

So, in a post or seven, I've made reference to a couple choice men in my life that I've loved and lost.  One--my child's father could be deemed a Jack in the Box, but I prefer yo-yo.  I want to keep him close, but he needs to be out of reach sometimes.  We just can't get it right and I need to put him down for a while, then try again later.  LOL.

The Jack in the box is the other guy....the one who had the nerve to tell me 'what goes around comes around' when he had a kid, but didn't tell me.  Wait a minute you son of a biscuit eater,  when I did that to you, we hadn't been talking for a few months and I wasn't telling you I loved you!  When you did it to me, we were talking about marriage just about every day and you had me convinced someone was about to get a U-Haul because either you or I was moving before the end of the year!  Yeah, he's the clown in the box.

This joker is so screwy! He goes away for some time--like no communication at all--then comes back when he feels like it to say the sweetest things like we haven't talked in three hours, not three months! What the hell?  How you gon' bounce, then fall back into the Gap like it's open 24/7?! Yeah, no.  Of all the lives I'm about, that's not one.

Let me tell y'all something:  I am not the one to be played with.  If he thinks that, he must be mistaken.  I don't think it's fair that he thinks he can have me back anytime he wants because something else he was doing isn't working out the way he wants it to.  I bring all this up because he had the nerve to hit me yesterday and say "Hey baby.  I'm thinking of you like always.  How's my growing boy?"  STOP THE BUS!  YOUR SON?  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT????!!!! I was floored.  He's so freakin' funny. 

All these little tests being popped by the universe are helping me to respond to him better and not buckle at the knees every time I hear from him, but I am still working something out because if I was good to go, I wouldn't be so pissed thinking about how he treats me.

While I don't feel broken anymore that things didn't work out between us, I feel some type of way because I don't think he gets I can't do him right now.  I think I'm still hurting at the fact he moved on without me, but is now trying to come back for me. It's just weird and complicated.  I can say I am mature enough to see and say I'm not ready to deal with him--similar to a Jack in the Box....I can try to prepare for it's second coming, but it's still scary. 

So, as much as I don't want to be stuck, I honestly feel I don't know what to do.  I don't want to hurt his feelings and cuss him out for hitting me up because I do like hearing from him, but I can't just act like he didn't just have a kid for the sake of having a kid, but still try to say I have his heart (his words, not mine.)

Ugh!  Not cool, man...not cool. 

I think I may be gearing up for a long night on the phone with my girls...they always know what to do.... :-)


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